Thursday, June 15, 2006

Soccer Match

The stadium was filled excited audiences, some cheering, some screaming, and some mute. A handful are terribly excited, paying more attention to the person of the opposite gender right next to them, instead of the field where they should look. A particularly fat man with a pigtail was busy swatting away flies, mosquitoes and bees that have gathered around him, just like how people gather around the field in the stadium. They have come from all over the country to witness this exciting soccer match between Leafy University and Golot University. The match was about to begin.

Leafy Universty had held on tightly to the champion medal for more than 40 years now, and it looked like they will not give up. On the other hand, Golot University had little victory over its many years of existence. However, strangely, the section of the spectator's stand assigned for the GU supporters were tightly packed, while LU's section boasted only very few spectators and lots of empty spaces, despite the fact that LU actually provided snacks and refreshment for their supporters. Reporters were gathered around the LU players, photographing and interviewing them, while the GU players were busy mingling with the crowd.

Soon, it was time for the players to gather on the field. Players from LU and GU both lined up on the field for all the spectators to see. LU's players were especially well-trained in both the offensive and defensive, with players ranging from 10 years old to 120. GU's players, on the other hand, looked weak. They looked like those kind of dogs that won't bite, and the kind who would gladly help you take your dog out for a walk if you ask them kindly. It looks like this is going to be just another victory for LU.

The referees were actually toilet cleaners from LU. They were specially trained for the event by the LU Soccer Team Coach. Being a top University when it comes to soccer, this move was accepted as LU knows soccer like pig knows mud, and referees specially trained by LU were said to be highly reliable. On the other hand, GU couldn't even afford to hire toilet cleaners. They had to clean the toilets themselves.

Pii! The match has began. The soccer ball flew here and there, crowd cheered and jeered. The fat guy with a pigtail was sent to a hospital because he had sprained his neck. A tiny little bird took flight, following the ambulance and was soon squashed to death by a lorry. Little did the fat guy know that by tomorrow, he will die a slow, painful death because the corpse of the little bird was washed into a reservoir and somehow ended up in his drink.

All these happened but nobody saw of even cared about it. All eyes were on the ball. Only one or two were under someone's skirt. The son of The Rock had his hands under it as well.

Pii! The referee blew his whistle. An argument between a GU university and a referee was in progress.

"Hey I really scored that goal! I kicked it in! It crossed the line!"
"No you didn't."
"Yes I did!"
"No you didn't."
"Yes I did!"
"No you didn't."
"Yes I did!"
"No you didn't."
"Yes I did!"
"Enough of this already! I can show you the footage caught on the video camera!"

The video footage of that GU player NOT scoring the goal was played through the big screen in the stadium. The spectators were quiet. The screen obviously showed that the player did not score that goal.

"Ok. Sorry everyone. I made a mistake."
"Explain to me why you made that claim!"
"I said I am sorry!"
"Noooooooooo. You must explain it to me. Why did you make that claim?"
"I already said I am sorry! Can't we just move along, get on with the match? It was an honest mistake!"
"No, no, no. You said you scored the goal. But you didn't. Tell me, why did you make that claim?"
"I said I am sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry!"
"No I don't give a shit about your sorry. I am going to give you a red card."

And the player from GU was sent off.

The match resumed and the ball flew here and there once more. The spectators accepted the judgement of the referee quietly and continued watching the match. Needless to say, LU won, as always.


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